Sometimes I feel like I have been bamboozled, tricked, deceived. I want to be too many titles, do too many things. And there are people eveywhere who say that I can, without the disclaimer. Whenever someone has made some form of success their word of advice is always, “you can do anything you want to do, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise”. I rarely ever hear about all the shitty shit you have to do, and all the things you have to let go, the amout of discipline it takes to reach your goals. It always feels like you hear the positive end of it all. Leading me to believe that I have built up this fantasy world where I feel I can do anything and everything. A world that if I’m not trying to do anything and everything, that I’m some kind of failure, or rather someone who doesn’t know how to dream big.

Sometimes I think I add to the list of things I want to do because they act as distractions to the very thing I should be focusing on.

Why don’t I want to be good at just one thing? Is being good at one time an old way of thinking?

I really feel like I’m caught up. I see people doing things, shit I want to do, and I get all excited about life just to be right back where I was before. No where. I’m just another person living my life through other people.

I’m not actually doing anything. *gasp* Realization. Maybe I’m just too caught up with what’s going on around me. I need some blinds.

I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. I need serious changing.