Sometimes I feel people react to certain situations because they feel they are suppose to. They see people’s reaction on television or read it in a book and think they must recreate a certain emotion because they may feel it’s appropriate and they don’t want to be judged about how they reacted to a certain situation. Maybe I did it, I’m, pretty sure I did. But now I feel I was only playing a role.

I always feel like people like to recreate songs and music videos. I always wonder if women/men subconsciously fall into bad relationships just to go through hell, cry, act immaturely, fight with their significant other, just to say they did it. Just to say they felt what Mary J. Blige was going through in “Not Gon Cry”. Because to them that’s pain, it’s like saying “hey I’m human, look at me!”

I also wonder if the idea of needing two parents to raise a child was gone would we have children feeling like they weren’t given the life they think they deserve. I hope that makes sense. If all I knew was my father and I wasn’t bombarded with the idea that I SHOULD have been raised with two parents, I think I would be fine. From 14 till now I was mostly raise by my father. And I think the idea of not having my mom in my life affected me more than her actually not being there.

Shit I don’t know. I hope if I do choose to have children I’ll have the ability to raise them to live their own life not some magical idea of how they think their life should be.