Dear DeAnna,

Let’s introduce the meaning of standards when it comes to your selection of men. You will be 25 years old soon, and I feel that you haven’t quite grasped this idea. Having standards my dear doesn’t mean that you will come off as this close-minded picky bitch. Dating men just because they like music, isn’t really cutting it anymore DeAnna. You are going to have to start paying attention to those red flags.

People drop knowledge about themselves on a daily. So when that dude says something like “I use to only call females when I needed something”, don’t think that they have magically changed their ways because you are just that awesome. Your pussy isn’t made of gold, they will not change because you are yourself DeAnna.

Yes DeAnna, you are a creative soul, so I know you have a thing for men who share your creative passion whether it be through music, writing, or otherwise. Although you are going to have to start dating men who have a job or do something which supports them financially. You being that girl, who pays for almost everything because you understand the struggle, is lame. It is no longer cool to have men want to “chill” all the time. And we all know what “chill” means. So stop it. Act like you love yourself and pick men who are worthy of your time.

You are attractive, inside and out. You have been told! So you can crank dat fishing rod (Javis-Is-Your-Friend) and pick that salmon instead of that catfish (that was corny, but you are corny, so find someone who is corny).

This letter isn’t meant to be long. “You need to become one with your conscience”. You will not be the source or inspiration of a sappy R&B song. It’s oh so simple—men who don’t reach your level of standards should be associates/friends*. Men who do reach your level of standards, you should start them out as friends and then take things day by day.

Later I will write you a letter on how to date a man, which means you do not go through the newlywed phase with them.

I love you, I just want the best for you.

Your Best Friend,

DeAnna

*Important: If they don’t want to be your friend, let them be great, and leave them alone.